"Before you count your friends, make sure you can count on them..."
One thing I have struggled with in life (and unfortunately my kids are in midst of also) is friendships. Friendships can be so difficult to make and maintain and yet they are essential for mental health. I know I am not the only person who sees those life long groups of girls who are always posting about the amazing things they do together and for one another and feel a ping of jealousy. It has been hard for me to realize that in my life I have phases of friendships that have changed so many times. Don’t get me wrong I have a lot of wonderful women in my life, women I can call and chat with, women I can sit with at ball games, have an occasional girl’s day with, but I can honestly say that I have a very small circle of people I know I could call and count on if shit really hit the fan. It truly makes me feel raw and vulnerable to say that, but as I am going through the motions of trying to raise resilient, confident, assertive girls I think I can be open and honest for the few of you reading this today.
I am not a needy friend; I never have been; you wouldn’t think this would be a negative but it has been in several friendships along the way. I can go days and sometimes even weeks without talking to someone, a text a few times or a snapchat is good enough for me, but I have realized most women need more than that. As happy as it makes me to focus all my time on my family, I have let friendships down because I have not been there enough for others. Oddly enough if you know me, I am a giver by nature, so even though I might not see you or talk to you for a week or two if you are struggling, I will be the first person to show up with a bottle of wine, a little pick me up and a freezer meal to help you get through. I am much better at showing my love and loyalty with deeds and not necessarily words. I am not a follower or a crowd pleaser, I hate confrontation and really need loyalty and a strong faith in God. I want to surround myself with people who take pride in their marriages and have high expectations of their children, people who value hard work and also love to have fun. I want those friends who can tell when something is wrong and who aren’t afraid to tell me when I am wrong. I want friends who keep my kids in line and clean out my dishwasher without being asked. I want friends who know I always have room for their kids in my home and will love them like my own. I want friends who can come and sit and chat while my kids are running around like crazy people just because I need adult conversation. I need those friends who offer up the biggest and smallest invitations every time even though they know with our crazy busy life I will probably say I can’t; yet they still include me every time because they know that being invited is the best feeling in the world. “Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things.”