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  • Writer's pictureMorgan

Can We Stop?

"Each of us will give a personal account to God. So let us stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall." -Romans 14:12-13

This isn't new to me as I have experienced this in both of my prior pregnancies, as well as, in moving to a farm and transitioning my life out of a city. A couple of comments during my current pregnancy such as the ones below have been brought up and I don't think they are productive to anyone.

"You won't be like that for long and all that goes out the window when you have a kid (or another kid)." This is in reference to a discussion about ways of living, structures, and routines.

"Good luck, it won't ever be the same. It is going to be harder for you...It may never come off. You won't ever have those abs or that body again." This is in reference to a discussion about postpartum bodies.

Can we please stop projecting our experiences on others? I think we can all agree, we are incredibly complex and different individuals. Yes, there may be similarities and agreed-to standards of certain things; but, in general no two people are the same in their thoughts, opinions, motivations, disciplines, parenting styles, etc. Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe it’s completely okay to express your feelings on a particular topic/activity, what you experienced during said topic/activity, or how others have experienced it. I certainly speak my mind, probably too often. I don’t, on the other hand, think it’s okay for you to tell me how my experience will be or how something will go for me. How can someone tell me how I will be when I have another kid? We all have different motivations, stressors, and things that are important to us. So maybe my list of priorities is keeping up with my house, my body, etc. And I work hard at it, or maybe I choose not to. But why should people feel the need to say otherwise, or worse, talk me down?

Yes, many things change after you have a child; there is no doubt about it. And it most certainly is more challenging to do what once maybe wasn't so hard. But to tell people the negatives, and give them no motivation to even try at all because of how hard it is... Why?

This was me running my first full marathon after baby #2, probably in the best shape I have been in since I was a freshman playing college volleyball.

I am not perfect by any means whatsoever, and have most certainly said something similar to these projections to people before. This is me checking myself, and a reminder to be mindful when talking about your experiences with others. We can all learn and grow from one another. Let’s cheer each other on and give people hope, eagerness, and motivation to do the things they want to do!


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