Learning to let go.

I know you are probably thinking "why am I looking at a picture of a potty chair?" This silly little potty chair has given me so much heartache. You see it's another chapter ending in my life, this potty chair has been in our bathroom for the last 14 years, it has trained 8 kids and been a huge battle and annoyance for me. Yet, today as I cleaned it up to put it away for the last time, I have a pit in my stomach thinking of another part of the toddler stage done. Lee is 4 1/2, none of my other kids have even used a potty chair close to that long, mostly because we have always had another little one who needed it or it was just time to grow up and use the big potty; but with Lee we didn't have another little one needing it and this mama was okay with him still needing me. Don't get me wrong it is probably going to come back to haunt me the first time he refuses to go to the bathroom at preschool this year and my husband has seriously been {gently} letting me know its time for over a year, but it seriously makes me want to cry. And the tears have nothing to do with the silly little potty chair that I truly despise cleaning. It's the fact that my crew is growing up, they don't need me like they did when they were little and that is extremely hard for this mama to swallow.

Watching the firsts is so amazing, you want them to do it all; but then as you have more you see you want to relish every moment, take it all in.... You think those days are so long, yet the years fly by so fast. Every last with my Lee Lee has been hard, Bill was not so gentle when it was time to quit nursing Lee {I knew it was time too} but knowing it was the last time I would ever nurse one of my babies was literally heartbreaking for me even though having my body back was amazing, my heart still longed for all those years of bonding with my babies. Bill says I have a few more weeks to get Lee out of our bed {yup that's right, he still sleeps with me!} and as much as I know he needs his own bed and he needs a good nights sleep for school, I cry thinking about it {and if you know me I am not a huge crier}. I wonder how 8 little babies that I have grown in my body and cared for are all growing up; and all too they soon won't need me and as much as I am amazed and excited to see what they will become a part of me will always see my little ones gazing up at my while nursing, yelling mommy from that little potty chair and snuggling with me in our bed. So mamas of little ones, take it all in, snuggle them a little longer, let them sneak in your bed even if they are a teenager and just let them be little and need you as long as possible.

-Darci-